Caught in the middle

So I haven't blog in a long time. Didn't really have the time. Lots have happened and I don't know where to start.

Prom is this Saturday. Two guys asked me out but unfortunately I have to turn them down. I didn't plan to go this year. It's too early. Where were they last year when I didn't have a date to prom? Hmph. Such is life.

And my love life... So much drama~! Hmmm... I feel bad. I don't want to make two best friends fight. Sigh. I'm sure everything's going to be fine.

And then there's the assignments! One due this Friday. Ergh. And two journals due EVERY week. Bleagh.

I miss home. My family... Isk.

I miss Nana. She's in KL right now. Asked her to buy something from Topshop or Zara for me. She replied saying as if she can afford to buy anything for me except an Adidas shirt sold at the side of the streets. Bitch. And I miss Azee. I miss my brothers. I even miss my dad. I found out yesterday that he bought himself a Nokia N73 phone.

WAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I found out through Nana, I messaged him instantly. I just want my message to be one of the first few on his brand new phone. Heh. He replied: "Tq girl. Chess n golf = sure enjoy. Take care." My dad called me GIRL! GIRL!! He never called me that. Any of his daughters! Say 'sure enjoy' again... He's nearly 50 years old ok. He must be damn happy about his phone. Hmph.

What I miss most is my mum. I want to go back home and give her a nice, long hug. Eeeee rindu gila babi!!

Clashing Classes

I found out that my FTV 111 clashes with my MCI 212. So I e-mailed Mr. Rama this:


(JULY 27)

Mr Rama,

I would like to notify you that my FTV 111 (12.30 - 4.30 PM) class with you on Tuesday clashes with Mr. Mawi's MCI 212 class (2.30 - 5.00 PM). I hope that you can reschedule one of the classes to another time. Thank you.

Khairunnisa Nasir.


And he replied:


(JULY 27)

It will be impossible to re-schedule the FTV 111 lecture and re-scheduling the MCI 212 seminar will most likely cause additional time-table clashes for other students; the sessions for these two units cover 3-4 hours and are difficult to shift around.

Another option would be for you to take either one of these units in 2007: they will both be offered again in semester one, 2007. You could enrol in another Marketing unit or in an elective unit instead.

Rama Venkatasawmy.
Head of Department

Mass Communication

(JULY 28)

Dear Khairunnisa,

I would suggest that for semester two, 2006, you drop FTV 111 and enrol in Marketing Communications 211 instead.

You can do FTV 111 later in 2007.

Please fill in the required Enrolment Amendment form and pass it to me for signing.

Rama Venkatasawmy.

Head of Department

Mass Communication

Wahhh!! I don't wantttt!! I failed my Mkt Comm last year. It's not really my fault. Can't understand a friggin' word the lecturer was saying. To be extremely frank (and mean), I think he's an idiot. I don't want to go through Goi (the lecturer) again. No no no and a thousand times NO! So I replied to Rama:


(JULY 29)

Alright. I'll drop FTV 111 and retake it next year. However, I'm not really keen on taking Mkt Comm 211 again as I have trouble understanding the lecturer. I was hoping that I'll take it when Mkt Comm has a new lecturer (or as a last resort). Can I take PR or Professional Selling 300 instead? Will pass you the Enrolment Amendment next week. Thank you, Mr Rama.

Khairunnisa Nasir.

Hmmm... I really don't want to take Mkt Comm la. So sengsara...

Unfaithful

I noticed that I blog every 5 days...

Erm... Hmmm... I don't know why.

Anyways, I was browsing through YouTube for the song Unfaithful by Rihanna. (Whee~! So many linkies. Hee. I'm in such a good mood, I guess. Rihanna is so pretty!) I found the video clip, random people 'trying' to sing the song, and even someone teaching how to play the song on piano. But what I want you guys to see is this:

Harry and Hermione (Unfaithful).

Yes, I know. Another HP thing... But you have to see it. I like this video so much because I know how much effort it must have taken the girl who made it (and also I like this song and HP. Hehe). Great editing skills. I would know. =P

Barry Trotter and the Shameless Parody

Have any of you read the book mentioned above? It's a parody of the famous Harry Potter series.

The book's about Barry Trotter, obviously.. He's 22. In this book, he's to stop the movie Barry Trotter and the Inevitable Attempt to Cash-In. Forget about the Dork Lord, Lord Valumart. Barry, Ermine Cringer and Lon Measly must try to defeat the most powerful force of grasping sleazoids the world has ever known: Hollywood.

Is this parody funny? Is it worth your money? Why don't you decide. Here's an exerpt:

Quiddit, as everybody knows, is a game where wizards and witches fly around on mops trying to put a ball through a hoop. The hoop is guarded by a goalkeeper. In addition to goalies, there are Bashers, whose job is to hit things: Brainers (the very type of ball that took a core sample of Lon's bean), other players and in particular slow matches, themselves. When Bashers would hit people, their victims would invariably yell, 'Quit it!' - hence, the game's name. It's pointless, and very violent.

Finally, there are the Sic'ers, who chase a flying, sentient meat patty called a Sneetch. Whoever catches the Sneetch gets a zillion points and wins the match. This is a very stupid rule because it renders all other facets of the game meaningless; on the other hand, it is very useful from a literary standpoint, since it allows for a speedy, dramatic conclusion whenever the narration begins to drag. Barry was one of the best amateur Sic'ers ever. He loved this mindless, brutal, guts-freezingly dangerous sport.

Ermine, predictably, didn't. 'If you guys don't mind, I'll take a miss,' said Ermine. 'Kate Spade has the cutest wands on sale.'

'Kate Spade!' Barry said, aggrieved. 'You said you were poor!'

'Priorities, Barry, priorities,' Ermine said.

(Gerber 2001, p. 108-7)

There are the Earth Eaters... They were called this because Lord Valumart made them eat copiuos amounts of dirt as proof of their loyalty to him. (Gerber 2001, p. 24) There's also J.G. Rollins live-in companion, Trevor Nunnally, who thinks that the world's problems can be solved through wooden car racing.

The book is an enjoyable read. But I've read things far more funny at www.FictionAlley.org or www.FanFiction.net. Eg. Clam Chowder's The Ultimate Harry Potter Cliche Catalogue. Now that is probably one of the most hilarious thing I've read. But you gotta read a lot of fanfics to understand it though.

No time for title

I can't believe how some people can be so frigging UNBELIEVABLE. I cannot comprehend it. I'm just shocked.

Fucking ASSHOLE.

I wish you're in front of me right now. I want to bitch slap that face.

Happy?

I'm trying.

Trying to be happy. I just got back from KL. I just went for the Rainforest World Music Festival. I'm in Kuching now. I should be content.

But I'm not.

Frusttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I lost my purse. I LOST MY PURSE!

I LOST MY FRIGGIN PURSE!!

Not in Miri. Not in Kl. But in my own home town. My own home town! Gah. So so mad right now. At myself for losing it. At the thief for stealing it.

All those times I went clubbing, never once I lose my purse. The time I went to the Indonesian Embassy. The time I went to Petaling Street at night. I didn't lose anything at all.

But this time! This time, it was in front of my grandparents house!

*(@*&$^^!)*^%(T%(&!$^!^%*(^%!T(

My ID card, driving licence, Maybank ATM card, student card, MAS Grads student card, name cards, money...

Imagine all the trouble I have to go through to renew everything.

Pissed, annoyed, irritated, troubled, upset, angry, regret, frustrated etc. I feel like banging my head on the wall. Gah!

But on a happier note, we were on Astro today. Channel 16 (Hitz.tv) at 3:00 PM. I missed it because I was busy being everybody's driver. So I'm hoping to catch the repeat of Top Ten Live. Check us out. Ferhad teased me of my being all British. Darn everyone of them who smiled secretly at me. I don't care. I got RM50 MPH voucher. What did you get? Exactly. So shut up. Hmph. I'm still annoyed. Stupid me losing my stupid purse. I curse thee, purse stealer!

Home Again

So I am back in Kuching. Just got back from KL last night. I am sick. Flu. I'm just thankful that I wasn't sick when I was in KL. I'll have pictures up soon about the KL trip.

So anyways, can't believe Kuching has changed. The roads are different. All those beuatiful trees chopped down. How horrified I was. But all in all, I am so glad I'm back home. I'm happy as I can be. =)

New Hair

Yeah so finally an update. I cut my hair the other day. Just a lil trim and layered it. I expect the woman (who I think is quite pretty and friendly) will just give me a blowdry after everything finishes. But nooo... She asked me to look up while she does I don't know what.

When I finally can see the mirror, I was in a shock. She styled it like as if I had a perm! I faked a smile while she and all the others were going on how my curls are so beautiful and balanced blah blah blah. Isk. Lebih lebih pulak...


P.S: Aman's here in Miri! But that's another story.. Running out of time here actually.

World Cup

So it's finally here!

The opening match was amazing. Not even 10 minutes into the game, Germany has already scored.

I'm supporting England (of course), Germany and Spain.

What team are you supporting?

Far away

Sad. Family's further away from me.

I haven't seen my mum for 3 months already. I thought I'm used to it. And I was. But then the whole family went to umrah. Left me here.

Went further away...

I miss them.

They're at another part of the world. I wonder what they're doing right now. I wish I am with them. One whole family.

I cannot help but miss them.

I nearly cried when my lecturer butchered our movie and made it his. But I didn't. I thought I would feel sad reading the recent post by my so-called love of my life about him falling in love. Thought that I would cry. But I didn't.

However, just one thought of my family and the tears just flow freely.

I kept looking at the map of Qatar and Saudi Arabia. Wondering if they're there. Wondering how they're faring. Wondering... wondering... wondering...

Sedih. They go umrah without me. If it's anywhere else in the world doing whatever, I don't think I would feel this way.

Except if they're flying off to see Mariah.

Happy Birthday Sarah!

Ok, so her birthday was actually yesterday. Anyways...

We did another surprise party for her this year. Surprise surprise. It's just that it's so much fun because she wouldn't suspect anything. Or maybe we're just damn good liars. Which I know is not something to be proud of. But hey, it helps to have this skill.

Jasmine, Teem, Ryn, Fifi and I bought lamb shoulders, BBQ sauce and drinks the day before Sarah's birthday. We also ordered a chocolate ice cream cake.

On her birthday, Jasmine and I bought plates, BBQ equipments and corns. While back at Jasmine's house, Teem swept the front porch. Heh. Bersih tau. =) Teem cut the lamb shoulders into small pieces and Jasmine helped in cleaning them. But I end up to be the one finishing the cleaning. I then marinated the lamb shoulders and the chicken wings. Haslina came to help us with the BBQ grill.

Maya and her boyfriend, Adrus, was the first to come. Then, Stephanie and Yasmin came. By then, Jasmine and I had to go. To send Teem back to the hostel to pick up her stuff (laptop, clothes etc.), pick up Ryn and Dayang, get my camera and an ashtray and finally send Teem, Ryn and Dayang to Jasmine's house.

Jasmine and I then rushed to Sarah's. Originally, the plan was for the two of us to pick up Sarah and then watch sunset at Esplanade. Then try to delay while everyone get ready at Jasmine's house. On the way back, I will then tell Jasmine to stop by her house because I have the urge to pee. Konon nya..

However, because we ran out of time, by the time we reached Sarah's it was 6.15 PM. There was no way we can make it to see sunset at 6.25 PM. Esplanade was at the other side of town.

So... on the way to Sarah's I made a plan that we'll just tell her that the three of us have dinner somewhere. I will go to the ATM to get my money. Jasmine will come out with me. Jasmine will pretend that she forgot her wallet (which I put inside MY handbag) so that we have to go back to her house. We wanted to give Maya and Adrus more time (they were in charge with getting the cake and serai because we don't have a brush for the BBQ) so I'll go buy some batteries for my camera. In the mean time, Jasmine talked to Sarah that we'll have our dinner at Marriot. Her treat. That's why she has to go back to her house to get the wallet. And the thing was, she even called Fifi in the car, asking him to check if her wallet is on the table. "It is? Alright we'll come home to get it now. Are you going out? Oh alright." This was to make sure that Sarah wouldn't suspect anything if the house was all dark and unlit. It was a good plan. And we executed it perfectly. =D

One time, Maya called to enquire if they should light the candles now or later. I told her that I'll give her a miss call and yes, the editing is tomorrow morning. Maya played along. Hee hee. Sarah didn't suspect anything.

When we got home, Jasmine asked if we wanna go inside. I told her "Ok. I want to pee also." So of course Sarah came with us too. When I walked nearer to the house, I can see the candles were all lit from the glass doors. Shit. And I panicked when Sarah wanted to walk towards the cat because she'll definitely can see the candles. I walked quickly to the front door and urged Jasmine to hurry up. I saw Sarah looking at Maya's high heels with her mobile phone's light. I panicked.

Jasmine finally opened the door and the both of us went inside. The house was dark. Sarah came in last. The moment she stepped inside, everybody came out from their hiding places. She never assumed anything. When she was cutting the cake, she turned towards me and Min asking "So, sik jadi lah pegi Marriot?" (So, we're not going to Marriot?) Haha. Kesian nya.

We started BBQing after that. Adrus complimented me that I marinated the meat well. Hee hee. Bangga nya. First time marinate dah turn out well. =) Everyone took turn BBQing the lamb, chicken and corn. Even the birhtday girl.

They all went home at midnight. The whole entire thing was tiring and also money draining but it was for a good friend and seeing her surprised face was worth it. =)

Braces

There's this common perception that if you kiss someone with braces, you might get hurt. The lips and/or tongue could get cut.

Apparently, you won't get hurt or anything. You won't even notice the braces. Well, unless you're licking the teeth.

But if you do lick the braces, will your tongue get caught?

Ugh. Bloody tongue. Not very appealing.

And I wonder... does it feel nicer to have braces gently scrap on you skin? Say hmm... your throat?


I don't like my teeth. Maybe I'll get braces? But it's too much of a bother. Sigh. Laziness persist.

Clearing Up

Ok, I just want to clarify some things.

So I may say that I go clubbing more blah blah blah. It didn't mean getting wasted and throwing my life away. Sometimes all I do at the club is watch people have fun and dance.

All these night activities or day activities do not affect my studies. I will not allow it to make me not hand in my work or skip classes. If I do skip classes, it's because I want too. Not because I want to go have fun somewhere else. Sometimes all I do is just stay home and not do anything. I've handed in my PR before 5 PM. My group members say that my editing is going well.

So I go out more. But I still do my work and pass them up. I'm going through a rough time this semester. So I surrounded myself with people. That was better than staying home, alone and sad. The thing with my sister actually still upsets me. But when I post about it, only one replied. I've also been through a break up. But just when I thought that I am free from that problem, other problems pop up. I don't need more drama. Just tell me what's wrong. What's bothering you. But don't give me the cold shoulder. It would not solve anything.

To people who are concerned about the life that I lead now, please do not worry. I can take care of myself. I know my limit. I'm just choosing this method (socialising) as a way for me to forget my problems. Problems that are actually distracting me from my school work.

Yes, I've changed. People do change. But the only thing that I've changed about my life is how I lead it. The real Nysa that you all know is still here. I'm still the honest Nysa. Weird and silly. Happy and care-free. Or so I want people to think. I love my family and friends. Still the caring, nice one. Chewah. Tak tau malu puji diri sendiri. =P

Oh, and P.S: Syiq, my cred expired so I say here la. No more misunderstanding. You weren't burdening me at all with that. I didn't mind. Btw, did you know that you called me last night? I was asleep, you know. Hish. It surprised me hearing you singing. I was so sleepy, I opened my mobile, stared at it, forgetting that it would automatically answer it. When it connected, I kept saying hello. It took me a minute and a half to figure out that you're not talking to me. Haha. So, sorry about wasting your credit. Blame it on my blurness. =P

Moving on... And away I go~!

Well, it's exactly been a month after the break up. I've been keeping myself busy the whole time.

I became more social. Clubbing more. Piak more. Hehe. Went out more. Road trip la. Sleep overs la. Macam-macam lah. Thanks to Jasmine, Teem, Ryn and Dayang. Always making me go out and made me forget. Hey, that trip to Lambir and Bintulu sure was fun. =) Anywhere with you guys memang confirm best. Hugs.

Thanks to my housemates. They were so concerned. Dy, giving your shoulder to cry on was priceless. Thank you. I know Felix actually cared too. Hee. Also Wani and Farisan for forcing me to eat. Hehe.

Ing Hui and Renee... Drinking at 5 PM. Haha. Enough said. I told you I don't show my problems. But I do have them. And this blog is the place I let it all out. My magic beans! Hugs.

Syafiq, I know we're not that close anymore. But hearing that you were concerned after all that's been going on between us, I was touched.

Azee, I know you cared. If you don't, I just pretend you do lah k. Hehe. Love you, sis.

Everyone else, I can't be bothered to list down everybody ok. But thank you for whatever it was that you guys have done to comfort me.

So, I'm moving on.

He is a thing of the past. I wouldn't forget him. He was my first of so many things. And like they said, you would never forget your fist love. But like so many firsts, they come and they go. First love, first kiss, first sex, first child... And then you have to make more. Hehe.

The break up was actually freeing. Of course I was sad. Of course I was upset. But I'm an optimist. One door closed, I can see so many others opening.

Now I can flirt guiltlessly. I can get close to my guy buddies without fearing anyone being unreasonably jealous about it. I can oogle at guys. Farah and Angie would know what I'm talking about. ;P

Opportunities are everywhere when you are actually looking. I never was interested in anyone back in high school. I put my studies as first priority. When I got out of high school, I fell in love with him. That much is history. There was no one else but him. But now... after him, I've become more open to others.

He once said "I'll show you the stars, remember". He never did. And he never will. He made me really happy. Let me just keep those good memories with me. There'll never be another time though. Those 2 years I've kept my feelings for him a secret because I know a lot of people are not that enthusiastic about it. They had their reasons. So now I'm going to listen to them. But he did show me so many other things. And I thank him for that.

He'll always be my baby.

Haha. Can't resist to put any Mariah lyrics in this. Hee. One thing that'll never change. My love for Mariah Carey. Chewah. Haha.

So from now on, hopefully this blog wouldn't have any sadness caused by the break up. Enough is enough.

All this time we've been together
Everyday a new adventure
Time's enough to last forever and a day
Our love was sometimes all we had
Through good times and through bad
I loved you all the way

All our days weren't bright and sunny
There were times we had no money
You could always find some funny things to say
I'm looking back on where we've been
I'd do it all again
I loved you all the way

I loved you all the way
Every mile, every night, every day

Times I thought I couldn't take it
Wondring if we'd ever make it
You could hold me close and make it go away
And though I've said it all before
I never meant it more
I love you all the way

I loved you all the way

Good bye, Rasyiq. I'll always care for you. I know you'll find someone new in no time. That's a fact. Haha.

The first and the last time, the little owl signing off.

Silliness

Please don't fight. Please. I don't like it.

You know who you are.

The Accident

I miss my family. I miss home.

My mum’s younger sister came by the other night for a surprise visit. After she called asking my house number, I dashed and knocked at Dian’s door. I was panicking. I told her that my aunt is coming to visit so we yelled at Farisan to clear away any indication that two guys are living in the house. I cleaned my room, sprayed perfumes (darn it smelt like smoke) and hid my cigarette boxes. Farisan had a ‘collection’ of empty cigarette boxes in the display cupboard (don’t ask why), so we put them inside a plastic bag. We also hid all the ashtrays. It was half an hour after my aunt called when she finally arrived at the house.

I asked her about my sister, Nana. (It was her birthday on the 3rd of May. She’s 18! Legal age. Whahahaha~!!) Finally someone who can demonstrate to me what’s actually happening and what kind of surgery she had. All I got from my mum was “Oh it’s too hard to explain. Wait till you’re back.” Blah blah blah. Kinda annoyed when she said that hundreds of times.

Even though I keep hearing “Oh everything’s fine! Don’t worry!” I don’t think it’s fine at all. Nana is traumatised. Now she always sits at the back instead of the front seat. But at least she’s going to take her driving license next year with Azee. At least she’s willing to try again. I just cry at the thought of how I had taught her to manoeuvre the car. How she was so happy when I let her drive. Even if it was only in front of the stadium. How she studied the laws and crap for the exam so studiously as if she’s taking an important school exam. I clearly remember her squealing and her state of panicking when she saw another car heading towards us (the car was far away and we were at a huge car park…). How can I not be sad when I heard about the accident?

My dear sister, the only person in the family that I didn’t hug when I went back to Miri. Of course I was scared shitless when I heard about what happened. I was still teary eyed when my aunt retold the story. The difficulties that my sister is having with lack of her right eyelid, how she had to go through two surgeries to get her right eye fix etc. I wouldn’t be comforted till I see my sister myself.

I also learned what happened to the family on the day of the accident. I learnt how my dad went through it. He was devastated. It was a very different reaction from the time when my dad was beside my late grandpa at his last moments. He was quite controlled. But this reaction towards Nana’s accident… It’s something I’m so unfamiliar with. It was actually my dad who asked everyone not to tell me. Kinda annoyed at that but then again, even though I was just told two days after the accident, I couldn’t pay attention to whatever my lecturer was saying. I was a wreck that day. So I guess my dad did the right thing.

Mr & Miss Curtin

Okaaayy.. I've been tricked by Renee!! She said she's joining!! Why me?!

Why am I so easily influenced? I can't say No to people. Gah.

Renee filled up the form for me and I stupidly guide her on what to say on the form. The last question, it asked you to describe yourself in 25 words. I wrote "I'm nice. Too nice to say No to Renee and Jasmair".

Yep.

I'm going to hide tonight so no one can find me.

I don't care if the prize is RM500 and a bottle of JD.

Explaination

Ok so how and when did it happened?

I was out with Teem, Ryn, Angie, Dayang and Fish on the 21st April. We went to CB. At midnight, I text Rasyiq wishing him happy fourth anniversary. Everything was quite normal. He apologised that he couldn't come down.

Then it all started to become more serious.

I asked him is he serious? Breaking it off now? On our anniversary? He was determined. I told him I don't want to lose him. I mean after all those years and I finally have him, I wouldn't just give up and say Ok, let's break up! But well, broke up we did.

I wished he didn't do it when I was out. I managed not to cry during the whole outing. But when I got to my bedroom door, I just broke down in front of it. It was pathetic. I wished he didn't break it off on our anniversary. But what could I do?

I cried day and night for two days. At at some point I was in denial. It took some will power not to message pathetic stuff to him. It hurts so bad. I was in such a mess. My mum was recently very sick. And my sister was in Timberland that Saturday to get her eyes fix. I was missing my family so bad. I even thought of buying ticket to go back home this Friday and come back home on Tuesday. I wanted to go back home to my main source of comfort. My permanent one. My family. But I changed my mind.

I'm thinking of saving my money for the trip to KL instead. Heh heh.

Please don't go and say "Oh he's not worth your tears!", "He's a jerk!" or "I'll personally go to Kuching and punch his face!" because that's what I've been hearing. It hurts to hear all that. I need to cry, for one thing. And it wasn't really comforting because I still very much love him. He has his reasons and I respect them. I understood them and I'm not angry at him.

I don't really have time to tell the reasons so that'll be in Explaination Part II. Heh.

The End

Well, it's over. On 22nd April. Exactly on our 4th month anniversary.

"When I think of our untimely end and everything we could have been, I cry. Baby, I cry...
Ok, so it's 5 AM and I still can't sleep/ Took some medicine/ But it's not working/ Someone's clinging to me/ And it's bittersweet / Cause he's head over heels/ BUT IT AIN'T THAT DEEP.."

Frustrations

I'm at Jasmine's house right now. Slept over last night. I was supposed to help her do her research. But we got back late. Both were so tired and sleepy. It rained heavily last night. When we got to her front door, we found out that it was locked... We were locked outside. At 1 AM. When it's raining hard. Plus, we both need to pee...

Since we couldn't get the maid to wake up, we drove out again. To some random hotel nearby (Marriot). We need to go to the toilet! But then the maid called. Sigh. Finally.

We didn't do our research.

So anyways, I haven't been updating regularly. I miss blogging..

But I have assignments due every bloody week. And it's so tiring and depressing. Not only that, if I don't have a presentation that week, I have shooting or editing to do! Next week, I have one 1500 words paper due, a presentation on Monday, a shooting on Tuesday. I don't mind being busy. But I hate being TOO busy. It makes you too tired to do anything else. You have class the whole day. And at night, you want to do your assignments but you're too tired! Gah.

And I miss Rasyiq so much. There's a chance that I'm not going to see him till the end of the year. I don't think he's coming next week. Or ever. He's busy too. Working.

Depressing, depressing, depressing...

I Am Back!

Let me hear a chorus of "Yays!".

It's been nearly a month since my last update. Here's what happened. The people in the IT department in my university has decided to ban Blogspot.com and Blogger.com. I don't know why.

But now, thanks to Iqbal (thank you dear~!) they have unbanned it. Whee~! Now I can bore you with my life dramas.

I bet most of you know about my sister, Nana. She got into a car accident exactly a week after my grandfather passed away. My family and boyfriend kept the news from me till 2 days later.

My mum called me up early morning. She asked me how I was and did I need anything. I thought it was just a normal call. Even when she said "Ok, I'm going to tell you something. But do not panic. Everything's fine."

She told me that my sister got into a car accident 2 days ago at Matang when she was on the way home from driving lessons. My mum told me that their car hit a van. The instructor, who was driving, was unconcious. My sister and another boy at the back was injured. Only after the instructor woke up an hour later did he called my mum to tell her about the accident.

My mum didn't want to tell me everything. I had to dig out information from her. I found out later that day from her and Rasyiq that Nana was in ICU. She had a surgery.

But now she's fine. That's all that matters.

So many things happened. So many pictures taken. So many beach trips. But lack of time and lack of a pendrive, I couldn't write more or put up pictures. O well.

Nevertheless it's great to be able to blog again.

God loves him more

I haven't had the chance to update because I've been so busy. Nek Hussein, my grandpa on my father's side left us Tuesday evening, 21 February 2006.

I was driving Rasyiq’s car when my mum called at 4 PM asking me to get my two brothers and Azee from school. I had to get them to my grandparents’ home as fast as I could because they were taking my grandpa there now. I drove as fast as I could, get the three of them into the car and let Syiq drove to my grandparents’ house.

When we arrived, a lot of cars were already parked outside the house. The ambulance was at the driveway, indicating that my grandpa just arrived.

Our family was gathered closely in my grandparents’ bedroom, surrounding my grandpa. There was a doctor and a nurse taking turns pumping oxygen into my grandpa’s lungs. That was the only thing left that was keeping him here with us.

When the doctor finally tried to find my grandpa’s heartbeat, everybody in the room tensed up. When the doctor mouthed “No” while waving his hand, indicating that there was no pulse, everyone broke down…

Okay, I don’t want to say anything more about that.

Let’s fast forward to the burial. It was the morning after the death.

It was raining. And I remember thinking to myself that that’s good. At least nenek’s grave would be cool.

I blankly watched the process of the men putting the earth back into the grave. Covering everything up. My eyes were moist when they put up those two stones on top of the grave. Nenek’s really gone…

When everyone was pouring water and flowers on the grave, I suddenly can smell a sweet scented smell. I was still sick at that time so my nose was blocked and I can smell nothing. Nenek’s grave smelt so nice and it made me happy.

I’m going to miss Nek Hussein. A few years back, during Raya, back when he can walk about… He asked me where my friend was. He meant a special someone. I told him, No, not yet, Nek. But now I do have someone special. But he didn’t get to meet him. And I will forever regret that.

May Allah have mercy on his soul and gives him peace in the afterlife. We all love him dearly but Allah loves him more.

Flu

I'm still sick and I'm getting hell worried. I watched Oprah last night (just glimpsed for a few minutes 'cause I thought the topic was too serious and boring) and they were talking about bird flu.

And then I chatted with Stephanie. And she managed to make me think that I caught the avian flu!

*@%^*^*@^$@%*%$*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I freaked out. For a while. Still kinda scared. What if it's true?! Is it like contagious? I'm too lazy to do research about it.

Am I going to die?

Stephanie told me that I should change my blog name from "Spread my wings and fly" to "Spread my flu and die". She said that at least it still rhymes with the previous one. Cool.

But of course I'm not going to take this seriously!

Nevertheless, I've been having killer headaches for nearly a week now. I need pills to keep it at bay. So that I can at least not writhe in pain. I'm only exaggerating about the writhing part of course. Whenever I have the headaches, my body temperature goes up, and I feel like knocking myself unconcious. Anything to stop feeling the pain. And then there's something wrong with my left ear. Like as if my throat has swollen and the thingy near my ear also swollen. I scared ok! I cannot hear properly and there's like this buzzing sound. Ahh.. I cannot describe it.

Ok, in conclusion, there's something wrong with me! I need to see a doctor! Ok, after I finish this, I'm gonna head to my uncle's clinic...

Valentine's Day

:This entry is pink because it's Valentine's related:

Well, I know it's 2 days late but hey, I was still spending time with my Sayang.

My V-Day was hectic. My mum was really sick the night before. I even had to go out at 11.30 PM just to buy her Nestum for her to drink.

I woke up very early on 14th February. Sent Azee and Udin to school. I cannot remember when was the last time I drove around That early. So I was amazed at little things like how the moon was on the other side and how the sky was pretty and complained about how cold it was in the morning.

When I was back in my room, after marveling how great it was to be awake so early, I went back to sleep.

Yes. How very typical of me.

Woke up at 12 PM by the sounds of bangings on the door. My brother wanted me to send them to school now. Oh bugger.

So I sent my two brothers to school, sent my sister, Nana, to the mall and then picked up Azee and Udin from school. I haven't even showered yet.

I arrived home at 1.40 PM. But when Syiq messaged me at 2 PM, I told him I just got home. Well, I was lying down on the bed, telling myself I'll get up in a few minutes. Have to shower, have to shower, come on get UP!

So yes Syiq, that's why I was late. I showered at 2.05 and it took me nearly half an hour to shower.

:Off topic: Oh this is nice. Me being able to remember everything. That's why I'm giving the time. I'm showing off. See, I can remember things. Hah!

After saying goodbye to my mum, both of us went straight to the Post Office near.. uhh.. Pending or Padungan or wherever it is situated. The reason why I asked Syiq to drive me there. He knew where it is, and I don't because I stupid because I'm not familiar with that area. Thanks, hunny..

I had to pick up something Saiful sent me. It was for Shazana. After giving the box (which was wrapped in newspaper, you cheapskate la Pul. Haha) to Shazana, I quickly went back to the car because she obviously didn't want me to stay long. I thought she was going to burst into tears. Or maybe she was just sick and wanted to sneeze. Oh I wouldn't know.

There. All my work/responsibilities/chores were done. We finally had 'lunch' at TJ. Or high tea since it was 4 PM. We were so hungry. But both of us didn't finish our food. Weird.

:Off topic: Ok I'm getting tired. It's 2.30 AM right now. And I'm hell sick. My body is all red and hot. My nose is running. I have a slight headache. Someone please knock me unconscious.

Ok, let's just say I had a very nice V-Day.

Got slightly tipsy at Tapanga. Met up with Sarah and Aman at Piccadilly's. And then Rusydie and Wafi joined us. I didn't want to move because Piccadilly's was playing a Mariah CD!! And I even knew which CD and which side. I was singing along and enjoying myself. Yay! I feel all happy just thinking about it now. Heh. I tried not to feel guilty that Syiq had a slight headache and looked like he was dying. La la la... Enjoying meself.

We all then lepak at Syiq's place. Getting tipsy and playing silly games and getting squashed (me, by All of them. Grrr...) and watching videos and making out. Syiq and Aman were kissing each other, which grossed Sarah and I out.

In the morning, I wasn't hangover. Instead, my body turned a rather ghastly red. My body was and it still is so hot. I'm burning up... It never lasted this long before. Ugh...

I dragged Syiq back home. While I was taking a shower, he was introducing Final Fantasy to my sister. First time really went inside my house dah install games in people's computer...

Hey, I just realised I spent more than 24 hours with my baby! Hee~!

Well, I went back to his house to watch Oliver Twist. Wasn't really paying attention in the end because lying down on his thigh was so comfortable I was drifting in and out of sleep.

Ok, I have to stop now. It's 3.20 AM in the morning and my body is still all hot but for some strange reason, I'm cold. It doesn't even make any sense..

P.S: As I'm writing this, Sarah and Aman are probably enjoying themselves at Syiq's place. Hey, it's not fairrrr! Syiq didn't call me back. Nor is he online. Which is good. I'm NOT complaining. At least I get this entry done.

Hollow

My Nenek Wa passed away early yesterday morning.

I was at Amalina's house. I found out at 9 AM. I was so sleepy because I slept at 4.30 AM. So I reacted to the SMS my mum sent me like it was just another SMS. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. Now that I thought about it, I was probably experiencing shock. I finally called my mum and and she said she would pick me up in an hour's time.

I don't know why but I felt so lifeless. When I bathe, putting on my clothes, getting back to bed with Ama while waiting for my mum, I was trying to gather my thoughts. How am I supposed to react? I'm not that close to her. This last few years, she cannot remember me by sight. But why do I feel so empty?

I arrived at Nek Wa's house at 10.30 AM. She didn't leave any children behind as she was too old when she finally got married. When they carried her body to the coffin, I saw people walked her husband out of the house. He looked so sad. So lost. I felt for him. He will be all alone in the house now.

I didn't shed a single tear. But my eyes were moist when I thought about her. The very little memories I have of her.

I still don't know how to react. But I certainly feel a sort of emptiness that I cannot explain.

Just for the sake of updating

I got this from Calvin. He posted it in the Friendster's Bulletin Board. Thought I just put it here. Just to update. Heh.


Start with 100%, and take away 1% for everything you've done/that's happened to you on this list. Put the percent you got at the bottom with your name... if you did ONE thing you would put 99%.

>Smoked.
>Drank alcohol
>Cried when someone died.
>Been drunk.
>Had sex.
>Been to a concert.
>Given a blowjob/gotten a blowjob.
>Been verbally/sexually harassed.
>Verbally/s exually harassed somebody.
>Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
>Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
>Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
>Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
>Been to prom.
>Cried at school.
>Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
>Went streaking.
>Given a lap dance.
>Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.
>Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
>Slept over at someone of the oppsite sex
>Kissed a stranger.
>Hugged a stranger.
>Went scuba diving.
>Driven a car.
>Gotten an xray.
>Hit by a car.
>Had a party.
>Done drugs.
>Played strip poker.
>Got paid to strip for someone.
>Ran away from home.
>Broken a bone.
>Eaten sushi.
>Bought porn.
>Watched porn.
>Made porn.
>Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
>Been in love.
>Frenched kissed.
>Laughed so hard you cried.
>Cried yourself to sleep.
>Laughed yourself to sleep.
>Stabbed yourself.
>Shot a gun.
>Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
>Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
>Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
>Watched an animal die.
>Watched a person die.
>Had sex and/or messed around somewhere with atleast person present.
>Pranked somebody.
>Put somebody in the hospital.
>Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
>Kissed somebody of the same sex.
>Dressed punk.
>Dressed goth.
>Dressed preppy.
>Been to a motocross race.
>Avoided somebody.
>Been stalked.
>Stalked someone.
>Met a celebrity.
>Played an instrument.
>Ridden a horse.
>Cut yourself.
>Bungee jumped.
>Ding dong ditched somebody.
>Been to a wild party.
>Got caught stealing something.
>Kicked a guy in the balls.
>Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
>Went out with your friend's crush.
>Got arrested.
>Been pregnant.
>Babysat.
>Been to another country.
>Started your house on fire.
>Had an encounter with a ghost.
>Donated your hair to cancer patients.
>Been asked out by someone that you never
though you'd to be asked out by.
>Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
>Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3months.
>Sat on your ass all day.
>Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
>Had a job.
>Gotten cut from a sports team.
>Been called a wh ore.
>Danced like a wh ore.
>Been mistaken for a celebrity.
>Been in a car accident.
>Been told you have beautiful eyes.
>Been told you have beautiful hair.
>Raped somebody.
>Danced in the rain.
>Been rejected.
>Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
>Punched someone/slapped someone in the face


I scored 55%. Damn.. I've done a lot of craps... Don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

What about you guys?