My Nenek Wa passed away early yesterday morning.
I was at Amalina's house. I found out at 9 AM. I was so sleepy because I slept at 4.30 AM. So I reacted to the SMS my mum sent me like it was just another SMS. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. Now that I thought about it, I was probably experiencing shock. I finally called my mum and and she said she would pick me up in an hour's time.
I don't know why but I felt so lifeless. When I bathe, putting on my clothes, getting back to bed with Ama while waiting for my mum, I was trying to gather my thoughts. How am I supposed to react? I'm not that close to her. This last few years, she cannot remember me by sight. But why do I feel so empty?
I arrived at Nek Wa's house at 10.30 AM. She didn't leave any children behind as she was too old when she finally got married. When they carried her body to the coffin, I saw people walked her husband out of the house. He looked so sad. So lost. I felt for him. He will be all alone in the house now.
I didn't shed a single tear. But my eyes were moist when I thought about her. The very little memories I have of her.
I still don't know how to react. But I certainly feel a sort of emptiness that I cannot explain.
I was at Amalina's house. I found out at 9 AM. I was so sleepy because I slept at 4.30 AM. So I reacted to the SMS my mum sent me like it was just another SMS. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. Now that I thought about it, I was probably experiencing shock. I finally called my mum and and she said she would pick me up in an hour's time.
I don't know why but I felt so lifeless. When I bathe, putting on my clothes, getting back to bed with Ama while waiting for my mum, I was trying to gather my thoughts. How am I supposed to react? I'm not that close to her. This last few years, she cannot remember me by sight. But why do I feel so empty?
I arrived at Nek Wa's house at 10.30 AM. She didn't leave any children behind as she was too old when she finally got married. When they carried her body to the coffin, I saw people walked her husband out of the house. He looked so sad. So lost. I felt for him. He will be all alone in the house now.
I didn't shed a single tear. But my eyes were moist when I thought about her. The very little memories I have of her.
I still don't know how to react. But I certainly feel a sort of emptiness that I cannot explain.
4 comments:
i'm so sorry about your loss...
when my Nek Moi passed away, i didn't really know how to react, either. i wasn't close to her, though i did love her...and i know she loved all her grandkids.
that day when she died...i felt sad to see how distraught my mum and her siblings were. and especially sad when i think of how Nek Aji must have felt when he learnt that his wife is gone.
takziah to you and your family.
the best way is by taking lesson from this thing..we all will go away..that's what i keep saying to myself when 2 of my uncles pass away last year..
Thank you guys. What makes it more hard is the fact that my grandpa on my father's side is in hospital again. I don't want to lose him just yet. Not when we just lost Nek Wa...
Thank you. I'll write a more cheerful entry next. Heh.
babe, it's your blog...write whatever you want! don't feel pressured to write in 'happy' entries just for the sake of it
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