Frustrations

I'm at Jasmine's house right now. Slept over last night. I was supposed to help her do her research. But we got back late. Both were so tired and sleepy. It rained heavily last night. When we got to her front door, we found out that it was locked... We were locked outside. At 1 AM. When it's raining hard. Plus, we both need to pee...

Since we couldn't get the maid to wake up, we drove out again. To some random hotel nearby (Marriot). We need to go to the toilet! But then the maid called. Sigh. Finally.

We didn't do our research.

So anyways, I haven't been updating regularly. I miss blogging..

But I have assignments due every bloody week. And it's so tiring and depressing. Not only that, if I don't have a presentation that week, I have shooting or editing to do! Next week, I have one 1500 words paper due, a presentation on Monday, a shooting on Tuesday. I don't mind being busy. But I hate being TOO busy. It makes you too tired to do anything else. You have class the whole day. And at night, you want to do your assignments but you're too tired! Gah.

And I miss Rasyiq so much. There's a chance that I'm not going to see him till the end of the year. I don't think he's coming next week. Or ever. He's busy too. Working.

Depressing, depressing, depressing...

I Am Back!

Let me hear a chorus of "Yays!".

It's been nearly a month since my last update. Here's what happened. The people in the IT department in my university has decided to ban Blogspot.com and Blogger.com. I don't know why.

But now, thanks to Iqbal (thank you dear~!) they have unbanned it. Whee~! Now I can bore you with my life dramas.

I bet most of you know about my sister, Nana. She got into a car accident exactly a week after my grandfather passed away. My family and boyfriend kept the news from me till 2 days later.

My mum called me up early morning. She asked me how I was and did I need anything. I thought it was just a normal call. Even when she said "Ok, I'm going to tell you something. But do not panic. Everything's fine."

She told me that my sister got into a car accident 2 days ago at Matang when she was on the way home from driving lessons. My mum told me that their car hit a van. The instructor, who was driving, was unconcious. My sister and another boy at the back was injured. Only after the instructor woke up an hour later did he called my mum to tell her about the accident.

My mum didn't want to tell me everything. I had to dig out information from her. I found out later that day from her and Rasyiq that Nana was in ICU. She had a surgery.

But now she's fine. That's all that matters.

So many things happened. So many pictures taken. So many beach trips. But lack of time and lack of a pendrive, I couldn't write more or put up pictures. O well.

Nevertheless it's great to be able to blog again.

God loves him more

I haven't had the chance to update because I've been so busy. Nek Hussein, my grandpa on my father's side left us Tuesday evening, 21 February 2006.

I was driving Rasyiq’s car when my mum called at 4 PM asking me to get my two brothers and Azee from school. I had to get them to my grandparents’ home as fast as I could because they were taking my grandpa there now. I drove as fast as I could, get the three of them into the car and let Syiq drove to my grandparents’ house.

When we arrived, a lot of cars were already parked outside the house. The ambulance was at the driveway, indicating that my grandpa just arrived.

Our family was gathered closely in my grandparents’ bedroom, surrounding my grandpa. There was a doctor and a nurse taking turns pumping oxygen into my grandpa’s lungs. That was the only thing left that was keeping him here with us.

When the doctor finally tried to find my grandpa’s heartbeat, everybody in the room tensed up. When the doctor mouthed “No” while waving his hand, indicating that there was no pulse, everyone broke down…

Okay, I don’t want to say anything more about that.

Let’s fast forward to the burial. It was the morning after the death.

It was raining. And I remember thinking to myself that that’s good. At least nenek’s grave would be cool.

I blankly watched the process of the men putting the earth back into the grave. Covering everything up. My eyes were moist when they put up those two stones on top of the grave. Nenek’s really gone…

When everyone was pouring water and flowers on the grave, I suddenly can smell a sweet scented smell. I was still sick at that time so my nose was blocked and I can smell nothing. Nenek’s grave smelt so nice and it made me happy.

I’m going to miss Nek Hussein. A few years back, during Raya, back when he can walk about… He asked me where my friend was. He meant a special someone. I told him, No, not yet, Nek. But now I do have someone special. But he didn’t get to meet him. And I will forever regret that.

May Allah have mercy on his soul and gives him peace in the afterlife. We all love him dearly but Allah loves him more.

Flu

I'm still sick and I'm getting hell worried. I watched Oprah last night (just glimpsed for a few minutes 'cause I thought the topic was too serious and boring) and they were talking about bird flu.

And then I chatted with Stephanie. And she managed to make me think that I caught the avian flu!

*@%^*^*@^$@%*%$*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I freaked out. For a while. Still kinda scared. What if it's true?! Is it like contagious? I'm too lazy to do research about it.

Am I going to die?

Stephanie told me that I should change my blog name from "Spread my wings and fly" to "Spread my flu and die". She said that at least it still rhymes with the previous one. Cool.

But of course I'm not going to take this seriously!

Nevertheless, I've been having killer headaches for nearly a week now. I need pills to keep it at bay. So that I can at least not writhe in pain. I'm only exaggerating about the writhing part of course. Whenever I have the headaches, my body temperature goes up, and I feel like knocking myself unconcious. Anything to stop feeling the pain. And then there's something wrong with my left ear. Like as if my throat has swollen and the thingy near my ear also swollen. I scared ok! I cannot hear properly and there's like this buzzing sound. Ahh.. I cannot describe it.

Ok, in conclusion, there's something wrong with me! I need to see a doctor! Ok, after I finish this, I'm gonna head to my uncle's clinic...

Valentine's Day

:This entry is pink because it's Valentine's related:

Well, I know it's 2 days late but hey, I was still spending time with my Sayang.

My V-Day was hectic. My mum was really sick the night before. I even had to go out at 11.30 PM just to buy her Nestum for her to drink.

I woke up very early on 14th February. Sent Azee and Udin to school. I cannot remember when was the last time I drove around That early. So I was amazed at little things like how the moon was on the other side and how the sky was pretty and complained about how cold it was in the morning.

When I was back in my room, after marveling how great it was to be awake so early, I went back to sleep.

Yes. How very typical of me.

Woke up at 12 PM by the sounds of bangings on the door. My brother wanted me to send them to school now. Oh bugger.

So I sent my two brothers to school, sent my sister, Nana, to the mall and then picked up Azee and Udin from school. I haven't even showered yet.

I arrived home at 1.40 PM. But when Syiq messaged me at 2 PM, I told him I just got home. Well, I was lying down on the bed, telling myself I'll get up in a few minutes. Have to shower, have to shower, come on get UP!

So yes Syiq, that's why I was late. I showered at 2.05 and it took me nearly half an hour to shower.

:Off topic: Oh this is nice. Me being able to remember everything. That's why I'm giving the time. I'm showing off. See, I can remember things. Hah!

After saying goodbye to my mum, both of us went straight to the Post Office near.. uhh.. Pending or Padungan or wherever it is situated. The reason why I asked Syiq to drive me there. He knew where it is, and I don't because I stupid because I'm not familiar with that area. Thanks, hunny..

I had to pick up something Saiful sent me. It was for Shazana. After giving the box (which was wrapped in newspaper, you cheapskate la Pul. Haha) to Shazana, I quickly went back to the car because she obviously didn't want me to stay long. I thought she was going to burst into tears. Or maybe she was just sick and wanted to sneeze. Oh I wouldn't know.

There. All my work/responsibilities/chores were done. We finally had 'lunch' at TJ. Or high tea since it was 4 PM. We were so hungry. But both of us didn't finish our food. Weird.

:Off topic: Ok I'm getting tired. It's 2.30 AM right now. And I'm hell sick. My body is all red and hot. My nose is running. I have a slight headache. Someone please knock me unconscious.

Ok, let's just say I had a very nice V-Day.

Got slightly tipsy at Tapanga. Met up with Sarah and Aman at Piccadilly's. And then Rusydie and Wafi joined us. I didn't want to move because Piccadilly's was playing a Mariah CD!! And I even knew which CD and which side. I was singing along and enjoying myself. Yay! I feel all happy just thinking about it now. Heh. I tried not to feel guilty that Syiq had a slight headache and looked like he was dying. La la la... Enjoying meself.

We all then lepak at Syiq's place. Getting tipsy and playing silly games and getting squashed (me, by All of them. Grrr...) and watching videos and making out. Syiq and Aman were kissing each other, which grossed Sarah and I out.

In the morning, I wasn't hangover. Instead, my body turned a rather ghastly red. My body was and it still is so hot. I'm burning up... It never lasted this long before. Ugh...

I dragged Syiq back home. While I was taking a shower, he was introducing Final Fantasy to my sister. First time really went inside my house dah install games in people's computer...

Hey, I just realised I spent more than 24 hours with my baby! Hee~!

Well, I went back to his house to watch Oliver Twist. Wasn't really paying attention in the end because lying down on his thigh was so comfortable I was drifting in and out of sleep.

Ok, I have to stop now. It's 3.20 AM in the morning and my body is still all hot but for some strange reason, I'm cold. It doesn't even make any sense..

P.S: As I'm writing this, Sarah and Aman are probably enjoying themselves at Syiq's place. Hey, it's not fairrrr! Syiq didn't call me back. Nor is he online. Which is good. I'm NOT complaining. At least I get this entry done.

Hollow

My Nenek Wa passed away early yesterday morning.

I was at Amalina's house. I found out at 9 AM. I was so sleepy because I slept at 4.30 AM. So I reacted to the SMS my mum sent me like it was just another SMS. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. Now that I thought about it, I was probably experiencing shock. I finally called my mum and and she said she would pick me up in an hour's time.

I don't know why but I felt so lifeless. When I bathe, putting on my clothes, getting back to bed with Ama while waiting for my mum, I was trying to gather my thoughts. How am I supposed to react? I'm not that close to her. This last few years, she cannot remember me by sight. But why do I feel so empty?

I arrived at Nek Wa's house at 10.30 AM. She didn't leave any children behind as she was too old when she finally got married. When they carried her body to the coffin, I saw people walked her husband out of the house. He looked so sad. So lost. I felt for him. He will be all alone in the house now.

I didn't shed a single tear. But my eyes were moist when I thought about her. The very little memories I have of her.

I still don't know how to react. But I certainly feel a sort of emptiness that I cannot explain.

Just for the sake of updating

I got this from Calvin. He posted it in the Friendster's Bulletin Board. Thought I just put it here. Just to update. Heh.


Start with 100%, and take away 1% for everything you've done/that's happened to you on this list. Put the percent you got at the bottom with your name... if you did ONE thing you would put 99%.

>Smoked.
>Drank alcohol
>Cried when someone died.
>Been drunk.
>Had sex.
>Been to a concert.
>Given a blowjob/gotten a blowjob.
>Been verbally/sexually harassed.
>Verbally/s exually harassed somebody.
>Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
>Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
>Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
>Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
>Been to prom.
>Cried at school.
>Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
>Went streaking.
>Given a lap dance.
>Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.
>Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
>Slept over at someone of the oppsite sex
>Kissed a stranger.
>Hugged a stranger.
>Went scuba diving.
>Driven a car.
>Gotten an xray.
>Hit by a car.
>Had a party.
>Done drugs.
>Played strip poker.
>Got paid to strip for someone.
>Ran away from home.
>Broken a bone.
>Eaten sushi.
>Bought porn.
>Watched porn.
>Made porn.
>Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
>Been in love.
>Frenched kissed.
>Laughed so hard you cried.
>Cried yourself to sleep.
>Laughed yourself to sleep.
>Stabbed yourself.
>Shot a gun.
>Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
>Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
>Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
>Watched an animal die.
>Watched a person die.
>Had sex and/or messed around somewhere with atleast person present.
>Pranked somebody.
>Put somebody in the hospital.
>Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
>Kissed somebody of the same sex.
>Dressed punk.
>Dressed goth.
>Dressed preppy.
>Been to a motocross race.
>Avoided somebody.
>Been stalked.
>Stalked someone.
>Met a celebrity.
>Played an instrument.
>Ridden a horse.
>Cut yourself.
>Bungee jumped.
>Ding dong ditched somebody.
>Been to a wild party.
>Got caught stealing something.
>Kicked a guy in the balls.
>Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
>Went out with your friend's crush.
>Got arrested.
>Been pregnant.
>Babysat.
>Been to another country.
>Started your house on fire.
>Had an encounter with a ghost.
>Donated your hair to cancer patients.
>Been asked out by someone that you never
though you'd to be asked out by.
>Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
>Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3months.
>Sat on your ass all day.
>Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
>Had a job.
>Gotten cut from a sports team.
>Been called a wh ore.
>Danced like a wh ore.
>Been mistaken for a celebrity.
>Been in a car accident.
>Been told you have beautiful eyes.
>Been told you have beautiful hair.
>Raped somebody.
>Danced in the rain.
>Been rejected.
>Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
>Punched someone/slapped someone in the face


I scored 55%. Damn.. I've done a lot of craps... Don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

What about you guys?